setting in...

So it is finally coming down to the wire as far as my moving is concerned and I'm starting to realized that while I have so many things to get done...I keep thinking to myself...I'm leaving...for real. I don't know if Chicago will be my home for the next several years. The position that I have is only 12 months...but I could find a job in Chicago if I didn't want to continue for another round with Teach For America. I guess I'm just nervous and therefore not sleeping very much. It is so weird because I know that I'm suppose to be going to Chicago. I struggle with so many things about my future these past 6 months. At the beginning of the year, I seriously thought that I would be staying in Lawrence...then in March, I wanted to go to D.C....and then it was Kansas City for awhile, back to Lawrence...then maybe NYC...and now finally Chicago. For the first time, I had to do something for myself and not because I thought that what somebody wanted me to do. Ask and you shall receive. I certainly believe in this now. I know God answers prayers in three ways: Yes, Not Right Now, and I Have Something Better For You. As far as my job search is concerned...I went through all three of these answers. So to my friends looking for jobs or looking for anything...patience always wins. I just wish I could remember this all the time. :) On a friend's blog she had this activity...so since, I'm no where near sleeping time...I thought this could be a good reflection for me.

1. Choose 15 people from your friends at random.
2. Write something about/to each of them.
3. Don't tell anyone whom the statements are about. Good or bad. No matter how they beg!

1. I know that the reason you annoy me so much is because I am just like you.
   
2. You know "me" the best of anyone I've known
   
3. Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself...
   
4. You have a gentle soul.
   
5. For some reason you are always on my side...I don't know why...but you are...
   
6. You give the best advice
   
7. I really miss you
   
8. You are the most considerate and courageous person I know
9. You were the first person to tell me I could make things happen
   
10. I will never be able to thank you enough for what you have done for me
    
11. I love how you worry about me
    
12. See you on Oprah!
13. How I miss our high-fives and morning gossip...I hope you are well!
    
14. I miss our friendship
    
15. You are the reason I am where I am...thank you.
    

some general thoughts for the day...

1. Hincapie is in yellow for the first time ever. Pretty sweet. Although, the winner from yesterday got cut up pretty badly during the final sprint by a specator waving a cardboard hand. Yeah, just try riding 45 mph and then getting sliced by a piece of promotional cardboard...at least it hit his arm and not his neck. Ouch. And the blood loss? Just think about it...you've been riding for a long time, you're in the middle of a full-out sprint, adrenaline is going to win the race, etc...pretty scary. And what the heck was w/ Floyd Landis yesterday showing up 8 seconds late for his start time...whoa...Lance would never have done that.

2. Today at Mass, my priest talked about the fear of death and he totally used Jerry Seinfeld's routine from "I'm Telling You for the Last Time." You know the part where he says that death is the second greatest fear and public speaking is the first...so you would rather be in the casket than speaking in front of the casket. I don't know if Seinfeld was the first to say this...but my priest would totally be plagarizing if this were true...oh well.

3. The past couple of times I've been at the restaurant, First Watch, it has been hit or miss...but this morning I had their fresh fruit crepes and they were the best I had since sometime ago.

4. Yesterday, my roommate brought me Dunkin' Donuts and a coffee coolatta to watch the Tour...However, I had gone earlier to get my tradition Dunkin' Donuts before settling in for the 3 hour prologue. No problem. Why? Tour + 2(coolatta) = fan-flippin-tastic.

5. Google now has a thingy for your computer so that you can get World Cup updates automatically...now if they had this for the Tour...my life just may be [ ] much better :)

6. Go George.

7. Go Germany.

~mitzi

13 days...

Well, 13 days until I move...but in other news: Le Tour!

Whoa, scandal...scandal...scandal. And I have know idea what is going on. Apparently there was this doping investigation in Spain and the reports were just released yesterday including the names of 2006 Tour front-runners, Basso and Ullrich. All the team managers at the Tour came together and decided not to let anyone race who was associated w/ the reports. So there ya go.

Innocent/Guilty? Well, I've never been a fan of Ullrich because he was Lance's nemesis...but I still know that he was/is quite a rider. He won the Tour back in 1997 when he was just 23...whoa. That's saying a lot since the Tour that takes so much maturity in riding/emotions/mental focus. But I just don't know. I want to believe that they are all innocent, but I'm surprise that the teams didn't back these guys up who are saying that they are innocent. It seems fishy. But there is a lesson: you gotta be smart who you associate with especially when the stakes are as high as they are for the Tour in the world of cycling.

I think if one of the riders on Team Discovery had been on the list, the team would have backed him up...they always did for Lance (the most tested athlete...ever).

Oh well. This just what happens with the Tour...the unexpected, the tragedy, the lost dreams...

and the dreams----MADE!!!

Who would have expected the "1st lieutenant" of Lance for the past 7 years to place 2nd in today's prologue. Nice. And how cool was it that he rode last...to replace Lance's spot from the past 6 years. Very fitting.

Well, it is on to the somewhat boring flat stages...but just wait for that TTT (team time trial) and the 1st day in the mountains.

~mitzi

2006 tour de france preview...

I can't believe that it has been a year since the beginning of Lance Armstrong's final ride in the Tour...but here we are and the who is ready for a historical race? I am.

With the last "news" of Lance being revolving around his break-up from rockstar singer, Sheryl Crow...there is no chance that 7-time champion will return for another trip around France. :(

And now for the preview:

'Course, I'll most likely be rooting for Team Discovery due to my allegiance from previous years...but as for a podium finish...it could be tricky.

The team is definitely in top shape with several returners from last year including stage winners, George Hincapie and Yaroslav "Popo" Popovych. "Popo" was also last year's white jersey winner for the best young rider. There is also Jose "Ace" Azevedo who was seen drafting Lance up the mountains the past two years. Paolo Salvodelli looks to also contribute, but he had a hard effort in the Giro d'Italia...so probably won't look for a podium spot this year. A couple of newcomers are on board, but I have not seen that much from them. The old stand-bys, Benjamin Noval and "Eki" will be back for another Tour.

In my opinion after reading the team report from the director, Johan Bruyneel, it seems that this year's team is much like the USPS team of '99 (Lance's first win)...so it is just a matter of who shows up to ride on July 1st.

Including...

Jan Ullrich, the German who since 1998 has yet to claim a second title at the Tour...although some of those finishes have been close! Who could forget the 61 second time difference between Ullrich and Armstrong at entry into Paris? He'll be ready, don't worry.

Ivan Basso...one of my favorites. He's the Italian that ended up in third last year...he's quite a time-trialer...but suffers in the mountains. Remember Lance passing him along L'alp d'Huez? Anyhow, last year he did have a great run and I fully expected him to come to this year's Tour rested and ready...but his win at the Giro d'Italia...could have cost him the top spot.

and then some Others:

Floyd Landis, Levi Leipheimer, and Alexandre Vinokourov

Basically...

Here's the deal. As we learned the past 7 years of watching one man win the Tour over and over...it comes down to the team. Who's team will fight for the title? Who's team is loyal enough to draft their leader up a mountain allowing themselves to spend all their energy and ultimately fall in the general classification? Who's team has a leader that can do their job in the time-trials so that the efforts of his teammates isn't lost? Team USPS and Discovery have crafted the perfect model...can they do it again or is time for a new team to emerge as the Tour de France champion? As the poster shows...the Malliot Jaune is up for grabs...

Details:

Watch on OLN beginning live on Saturday, July 1st at 7:30am CST.

~mitzi

fiddle dee-dee...

I believe since the beginning of electronic e-mail there has been the "chain e-mail" to compensate for the breakdown of "chain-mail". For whatever reason, we fill out these questionnaires and then forward them onto all of the addresses in our Contacts and then sit and wait for one of our friends to be just as bored as we are to fill it out and send it back. So instead of clogging your inbox...here it is in my blog with some nice sacarastic rhetoric to go along.

1. FIRST NAME? Mitzi (legally, Christa)
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes...Christ and Mary...beat that ;)
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST LAUGH? in church this morning when my friend surprised me and I figure out the whole surprise plan that she and my roommate put together to guilt me into going to church...
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham, hands down.
6. KIDS? Is this question suppose to ask if I like kids? then yes. Do have kids? no. Do I want kids? in the future.
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? What kind of question is this? I'm not going to answer it.
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I guess you could consider this blog my journal...but I also have a spiritual journal that took the place of my "secular" journal.
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No, of course not...who uses sarcasm anymore...seriously, that was so last season.
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Only if it were into a very deep body of water...oh wait, I've already gone face first into a body of water...that hurt. Nevermind, not bungee for me.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Golden Grahams or Frosted Flakes
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not usually
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I think that I think I'm strong and usually give off that sort of characteristic...but I have a lot of weak parts as well.
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Brand? Murray's in Westport. Flavor? Chocolate chip
16. WHAT IS YOR SHOE SIZE? 7.5-8
17. RED OR PINK? Red
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I'm constently looking for approval.
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? my family and friends who have moved away...
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? No, I just thought I would waste their time in reading this...no need to waste more time. Are you kidding me?
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES Are YOU WEARING? Jeans ...no shoes.
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? A maraschino cherry in a homemade Sherry Temple...so refreshing!!
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? A window fan and in the background the news.
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? I always like red-violet
25. FAVORITE SMELL? Baby lotion and lilacs...but not together.
26.WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Amy
27. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? a dog.
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Do they need this question?
29. FAVORITE DRINK? right now? SunTea
30. FAVORITE SPORT? Cycling
31. HAIR COLOR? dark brown
32. EYE COLOR? see #31
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? unfortunately, yes
34. FAVORITE FOOD? spaghetti w/ my mom's homemade sauce
35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? sad...oh wait, I mean happy endings? Again, who picks scary over happy?
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? A Mighty Wind
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Gray
38 . HUGS OR KISSES? Never been kissed...so hugs, I guess.
39. FAVORITE DESSERT? During the summer: Mississippi Mud
40. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Robert...you'll leave a comment. I know...
41. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Liesel because she always checks my blog...but has yet to leave a comment.
42. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? One Day All Children... by Wendy Kopp
43. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Army ROTCH logo
44. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? My Life on the D-List
45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? singing...
46. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles
47. THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Der Vaterland
48. DO YOU HAVE ANY TALENT? singing...and I lead people. :)
49. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? January 30, 1984 in Lawrence, KS


~mitzi

P.S. next blog: Tour de France preview!!! Get ready only 11 days until it begins!!!!

back "home"...

I'm back "home" for a little while. I'll move July 14th...which is pretty soon. There are so many things to think about and change...I just hope that everything goes somewhat smoothly. This past weekend, I drove up to Chicago to find an apartment. The 10 hour drive turned into 12.5 hours because of road constrution and an accident ... and then the destination hotel ended up being just a little more than a shack w/ a bed and toilet---but I really shouldn't complain. I did find an apartment that will hopefully work in my budget once the paychecks start coming on a regular basis.

The apartment is the upstairs of a house in Evanston (a northern suburb of Chicago) and it has a small screen-in porch along the back w/ a back yard. It's pretty cute and I'm excited to have my own space after being in a hall w/ 48 other women the past 4 years.

Anyhow, after finding the apartment, I head downtown to find my new office. It was pretty cool because they are moving offices so everything will be brand new. I'll even get my own desk by the window!! NO CUBICLES!!! It looks really nice too...and so close to my El stop!!

After that, I headed up to Madison for trip #3 in the past month so that my mom could see the Reddigs' new house. It's looking good and the air mattress was certainly a friend of mine compared to my nemesis at the Travelodge. Also, the Dr. and the Mrs. provided me w/ the long-awaited croissant that I had requested during a breakfast run by the Buschelmans back during trip #2 to Madison...oh well. I guess the Reddigs won that small "favorite sibling" contest :)!

Other than that...I'm just going through everything I need to get done. I reserved a moving truck today which was pretty exciting because I saved about $100 by wanting to drop off my truck in Illinois. So if you are ever moving, ask the company if they have deals depending on where you are dropping off your truck...it just might save you a bit of cash!

Also, I wanted to clear up that I do not hate my sisters because of their "movie" from the last post. It is not their fault that I wanted to be just like them...that's my own fault. I'm just glad that I've figured out that I have to be me...because that's all I can be. I just wish my mom would figure this out.

~mitzi

p.s. shout out to Robert finding me a bank!!!

new song...

There are a bunch of things going on right now in my life as I try to figure how exactly I'm going to survive in Chi-town...I have a new car now...pretty nice and next week I'm going to go look for an apartment...I still can't believe this is all happening to me. For those of you who know me pretty well, I have always compared myself with my sisters so much so that I tried to do everything they do. Somethings have turned out really well and some were just not me. Anyhow, when doing things that they had done previously...for me to do them was like being in a movie that had already been made. Weird.

Anyhow, this whole moving to Chicago is completely my own "movie" so to speak. I have no idea how it ends and that is pretty scary and exciting.

On another note, I have a new favorite song. "Always on Your Side" by Sheryl Crow...the version w/ Sting is also good...here are the lyrics, enjoy!

My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are we left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But is this how it's really meant to be
No is it how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

moving fast...

Whoa!! Now that graduation is over and trip #1 to Madison is past...I can't believe that June is TOMORROW!!! Anyhow, today I'm going to go look at new cars...crazy. I can't believe I'm going to buy a car (and then have car payments...yuck). Oh well. At least it will get me to Chicago and back.

Then I need to find a place to live in Chicago...or a suburb of Chicago...except I know very little about Chicago...How many times can I say Chicago.

Anyhow, Saturday will begin the #2 trip to Madison for the BIG move w/ the Reddigs...good times. Plus, the Buschelmans are coming in as well for a "little move-move"...or more like a lot of move-move. I can only hope that I can mow the Reddigs lawn twice in four days again!! *sarcasm*...

So life is moving pretty fast...but I guess that's how it rolls.

~mitzi

JOB!!!

I accepted the Teach for America position in Chicago. I'll be moving there in July!!

More to come later...I'm trying to move, check-out, and graduate w/ in 48 hours...yikes!!!

~mitzi

too comfortable...

Well, I didn't get a second interview with Zillner...not enough experience for them. And the Archdiocese is still taking its time. They don't even have a time line for filling the position I applied for and seeing as how I applied for it back in March...things don't too promising.

So I'm leaning towards TFA. I was sitting in church today praying and in my conversation with God, I came to the conclusion that I'm too comfortable where I'm at right now. In this past year, I have done many things that are "who I am"...Proctoring, March for Life, Veritas, etc... And staying here in Lawrence (or in the KC area) would definitely keep my comfortability level at a nice confident level. So I feel, at this particular moment, that maybe it is time for me to shake things up a bit. Maybe the fact that both Zillner and the Archdiocese aren't giving me anything to go with is a sign from God to get out of here..."spread my wings"...or whatever.

I just don't know and I have T-4 days to figure out how I'm going to respond to TFA. Money is always an issue...and moving is definitely not cheap, especially if you've been in student housing for the past four years. At least I've got a loveseat...

~mitzi

decisions to make...

Teach for America has offered me a position on their Recruitment Team for the coming year...and I just don't know what to do. 80% of the Recruitment Team is in New York City and the other 20% is between Atlanta and Chicago. Obviously, I would want the Chicago position because it is still in the mid-west, it is close to where the Reddigs will be, and cheap flights between here and there!!

But there's no guarantee that I would get Chicago if I were to accept. I can accept on the condition that I get Chicago...but then if I didn't I'm out a job.

I'm trying to think up the pros and cons of this position:

Pros:
Chance to be apart of something way bigger than myself
Chance to move away and see if I can make it on my own
Job security for 12 months
All insurance taken care of
Chicago? How cool would that be

Cons:
Leaving the only place I've ever known
Leaving my parents
Leaving my friends
Living alone


I'm sure there are others...but that's what is going through my head right now. I just finally got to a point where I'm comfortable and happy...but if I don't take this "chance" what else is there. I'm looking for a sign from God...I need something from HIM to let me know this is where I should be going.

I have to make a decision by next Friday, the 19th...should be fun finals week!

~mitzi

cure for senioritis...found!

So my brother, Robert, is graduating from KU Medical School in 11 days, just like I'm graduating from KU...so having been through the undergraduate senioritis, Dr. Robert has given me these prescriptions for final semester papers and finals:

For papers:

no matter what the required length is...make it 6 pages, only spend 10 minutes per page (including research, typing, editing), you're done in a hour.

For finals:
[direct quote]

"Uh...final? Hello! This is your last year, if you aren't ready for this final yet, don't worry about it! You can stay up all night partying and still be ok for the test. Here's the rule for finals in your last semester: for every credit hour the class is, that's how many half hours TOTAL you should study for it. So, if it's a 3 hour class, just 1.5 hours studying. and, that includes any time you spend in a review class if they offer it. A corolary to that rule is if you want to raise your grade 1 letter grade, go up to 1 hour studying per hour of class. If you afford to lower your grade 1 letter grade, you can reduce studying to 10 minutes per class hour. Of course, you have to run the math to see how you have to do on the test to raise/lower/keep the same grade. So, this isn't a hard and fast rule like the paper rule is, but it's a good rule of thumb."

Thanks, Dr. Robert...you're the best.

~mitzi

ho humm...

Today is the anniversary of my grandmother's death. We also had a tornado in Lawrence on that day three years ago. That was my freshman year. Crazy.

Well, I had the third and final Teach for America interview today and now they're checking my references. I'm not trying to get "my hopes up"...but if they were to offer me a position, I would definitely be moving away...to New York or D.C. or Chicago. And I haven't really come to see that in my future...Oh well, I guess we'll see how these next few weeks play out. Gotta keep trusting in the Guy that knows it all. He'll take care of me no matter what.

I'm currently reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It is very interesting, but I don't think it is really effective if not all people (namely non-married people) read it. I just hate that as a woman, I can do so much work to "get over" a guy and then in a moment, he'll say something and it will occupy my mind for the rest of the evening. Call me an optimist, but I'm always hopeful. And for that split second, I forget all the crud I went through to get back to the happy self I am now, and start focusing on him. Maybe by writing this, I'll start rethinking about how far I've come in the past month especially...but really since February. I just wish I could stay "over" this person...and the silly thing is that he doesn't even know.

Oh well, back to the last paper I'll have to write in my college career! WOOHOO!!!

~mitzi

new focus...

Okay, so before when I was talking about my new focus, I wasn't quite sure what the big G had in mind. Obviously it wasn't memorizing the lyrics to "Lazy Sunday"..although, I still might. For some reason, God decided to have my mother fractured her right hip the day before my dad was to leave for the rest of the week and a day before my mother was suppose to begin caring for my niece as her parents travelled to WI for a house closing.

That being said in the shortest way possible, I'm at home caring for both my niece and my mom until Sunday. I'm think that maybe medical practice is the way for me. Or maybe not. Anyhow, for those of you worried...my mom is going to be okay. No surgery needed, thank goodness. She just needs to stay off her feet for a while and rest (something my mom has never done in the 22 years I've known her). My niece is doing well. She is just too cute for words, but she is also screaming her head off because some new teeth just broke through her gums. Yeah, just thinking about it makes me cringe just a little. Plus, it's her molars, which I think are the worst. Oh well.

The best part is that I've missed two days of class and work. I was a little worried about the class thing since one of my classes was doing the final review today. However! The class was cancelled for some reason, so I won't miss the review after all! That's God looking out for my grades.

I will miss Coyote's tonight w/ the St. L's crowd and the new additions of Amy, Blair, and Nate...but I don't think Jack or Coke will solve my problems.

I'll also miss Relay for Life tomorrow, which really sucks. It means a lot to my roommate and friend, Amy. So for anyone of you out there who will be at the Relay tomorrow night...give Amy a hug for me. She's done a lot for this cause and deserves a hug! Hugs are great. Hopefully, I'll be able to be there for the luminary vigil...we'll see.

The job thing has new life. My application is on the Archbishop's desk at the Archdiocese, I have an interview w/ Zillner Marketing Communications next week, and now I'm in the final stage of interviews for the Teach for America Recruitment Associate position. Nothing like a new focus to bring other things along. Thanks God! and thanks to Sr. E for making me try to find a new focus...God provides...like always.

I don't mean to get too religious, but for those of you who know me...you probably saw this coming. I started this 30 day prayer to St. Joseph on May Day (his feast day)...and I think that my life is a little like St. Joe's back in the day. Can you imagine caring for Mary and the infant Jesus? Whoa. I'm not saying that my mom and Mary Ann are either of these two...and I am certainly not as patient as Joseph...but looking out for both of them just got me thinking. What a special man Joseph was and what an awesome saint he is today!

~mitzi

fall back plan...

So it is looking more and more likely that I won't have a job come graduation, but I have a fall back plan. I'm not quite sure how it will work out exactly...funding and such, but it just might work!

The other night at a rainy "bonfire", my friend Blair and I were discussing what seems to be the problem with us...we are good people, great personality, intelligent...but somehow are still not noticed by the opposite sex for whatever reason. We are sure there are other women out there who feel the same way and therefore, we have decided that if our career plans fall through we will begin "Project Sabrina". The company name came from the famed Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart movie, where the main character "Sabrina" who is smitten with a man (played by William Holden) who "doesn't even know I exist" -- until she goes away to Paris for two years, and returns an elegant, sophisticated, beautiful woman.

Okay, so the company would arrange for this hiatus of two years to a foreign country for women who should be noticed, but are not...make sense? Probably not and even as I'm writing this I am seeing several issues with the whole thing. In the movie, Bogart's character always treats Sabrina with respect even before she goes to Paris and so at least "notices" her...but it isn't until he sees that she is smited by his younger brother (Holden) that he realizes that there might be something else there...

Okay, so maybe I should just plan on a career elsewhere...we'll see. But come on "Project Sabrina"...the title at least is genius! hmmm.

~mitzi

passion...

After a little spiritual d w/ Sister E, I suppose find something to focus on...since neither the job thing nor the relationship thing are doing anything in my life...so I need to focus on a new passion or an old one...something that will occupy my mind, my body, my soul so that I stop comparing myself to others (people who have jobs or relationships...or both). So here's what I got:

I really enjoy memorizing lyrics, I guess you could say it's my thing...any song really...I'll look up the lyrics on line and memorize them so that I can sing along correctly. Raps are always fun...not the trashy ones, but ones like "Ice, Ice Baby". Not that it is not "trashy"...but at least the language is permissable. So what is the new song/rap/diddy that I would like to master?

Lazy Sunday: Chronic(WHAT)cles of Narnia

Yep, so if you would like to join me: here's the lyrics...

Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon.
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’.
Hello?
What up, Parns?
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinking what I’m thinkin?
NARNIA.
Man, it’s happenin’.
But first my hunger pains are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt that bakery’s got all da bomb frostins.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.
Two, no six, no twelve, BAKERS DOZEN.
I told you that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper west side, dude.
Well, let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Map Quest.
That’s a good one, too.
Google Maps is the best.
True that.
DOUBLE TRUE.
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka.
What you wanna do, Chris?
SNACK ATTACK, ************
It’s the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yo, stop at the deli.
The theater’s over-priced.
You’ve got the backpack?
Gonna pack it up nice.
Don’t want security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals CRAZY DELICIOUS!
I’ll reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Girl actin’ like she never seen a $10 before.
It’s all about the Hamiltons, baby.
Throw the snacks in a bag and I’m ghost like Swayze.
Roll up to the theater.
Ticket buying, what we’re handlin’.
You can call us Aaron Burr.
From the way we’re droppin’ Hamiltons.
Now parked in our seats.
Movie trivias the illest.
Which Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
We answered so fast it was scary.
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry.
Now quiet in the theater or it’s gonna get tragic.
We’re bout to get taken to a dream world of magic with…
the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia

~mitzi

entering the final stretch...

Basically, I have one 6 pager, 1 quiz, and 3 finals...and I'm done. That's it...college career is finished!! And I still have no job. But I'm trying to stay positive.

The deal w/ the Teach for America position is that they want me to revised the Project Plan that I turned into them before my second interview. Apparently, they didn't think it was my "best" effort...which is probably true. The "pretend" Project Plan was a itinerary for a two-day recruitment event for an alumna of UT who is now a corps member. Fine, I can do this...I've done itineraries before. The thing is that they wanted specific students and professors that this person should meet with during the visit. And when I say "specific", I mean actually people...w/ actual names. Sounds easy? Well, not exactly. I basically used the UT website to find people, so maybe this wasn't the "best" effort that I could have put forward, but it was all I had at the time...while going to class, work, writing papers, and giving 2 presentations. So they want me to revise it and make it more specific than it already is...their advise to me: use the UT website. Oh, thanks...it's not like we didn't talk about the website for the good amount of the 2nd interview. Oh well.

In other news, I'm pretty excited about this weekend...tomorrow is the Maifest at my parents house and then Saturday is my roommate's family's annual bonfire...good times.

So while I try and discern exactly what to do w/ my career...I'll enjoy some good beer, delicious desserts, and s'mores!!

~mitzi

blisters...

How is it that after mowing my yard for who knows how many summers without ever getting blisters on my hands...today I get them while helping do some of the spring cleaning chores around my parents' house, including mowing the yard? Weird. I guess my hands have gotten a bit weak since last summer. Go figure.

Anyhow, I'm getting ready to go to the Easter Vigil at St. L's and I have to say I'm pretty pumped about the renewal of my faith tonight. Once again, I get to hear the story of Salvation History as we wait in the darkness for Christ's Resurrection! How Glorious It Will Be!!

Christus Vincit! Christus Regnat! Christus Imperat!

The Triduum ends tonight and how beautiful it is.

A blessed Easter to you.

~mitzi

positive attitude...

I realize that I have been kind of down lately in my posts and perhaps it is because I'm just really nervous about the next two months of my life with graduation, finding a job, and possibly moving away (pending whatever job I get). However, with the spring season coming early bringing sunshine and 80 degree weather...it is not hard to find the positive in life.

Nature is so beautiful this time of year. Spring and Fall are definitely my favorite seasons just because of the changes in colors! All the flower blossoms are so pretty!! Plus, I love driving down the streets here in Lawrence when the trees are just starting to get the beginnings of leaves. Tennessee Street is especially beautiful. So driving with the window down and the radio playing a good song...nothing can touch me.

And it's Holy Week! My favorite time of year...spiritual gifts that come from this week are truly special and I just hope that I can put everything that is bothering me behind me for the time being and be able to really live these next seven days.

Behold the Bridegroom comes at midnight, and blessed is the servant whom He shall find watching, and again, unworthy is the servant whom He shall find heedless. Beware, therefore, O my soul, do not be weighed down with sleep, lest you be given up to death and lest you be shut out of the kingdom. But rouse yourself, crying: HOLY, HOLY, HOLY art Thou, O our God!

Through the Theotokos, have mercy on us!

Glory to the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit.
Now and ever, and unto ages of ages.
Amen.

Have a blessed Holy Week!

~mitzi

you're wrong and you know it...

In my Constitutional History class we are currently discussing the Warren Court that decided such cases as Griswold v. Connecticut and Roe v. Wade. Now I'm going to say that I have quite a bit of bias to these two cases due to my activities involving the LIFE movement...because I believe that from the moment of conception...a human is there...not just an embryo...not just dividing cells...he/she IS a human...there is no doubt. Check you biology book.

Anyhow, the point of the matter is that while we are "discussing" these two particular cases...we never get to the truth of the matter. We discuss "privacy rights" and the 14th Amendment, but never mention why contraception or abortion was illegal in the first place. Hmmm...let's think about that one, shall we? I guess I am just sick and tired of professors and students claiming that they are open-minded because they are "discussing" these controversial cases. They think that will please us close-minded folks. Ha! I'll tell you what would please me...Let's have a debate, let's get all the facts out there, and hey...how about you all listen for once.

I once asked a pro-abortion advocate when she thought that life began:
Me: When do you think life begins?
Her: I don't have to answer that.
Me: Yes, you do.
Her: Well, it means nothing to me.
Me: Well, it does to me.

At this point our "discussion" was cut off by our teacher. But this absurd remark made me wonder...if when life begins means nothing to her...then surely when life ends also is meaningless. No wonder we have so many cases of child and spousal abuse, rape, murder, suicide, etc.

If we cannot show respect for life at the most innocent of stages (in the womb) then when can we show respect for life?

Seriously.

~mitzi

my life is a sitcom...

I'm sure many people think this as well...but sometimes I think my life is a sitcom. And now it is...

Last night as I was watching "Grey's Anatomy", I saw a preview for the pilot episode for "What About Brian"...here's the tagline:

What about Brian? Of his close-knit group of friends, everyone else has paired off, while Brian has emerged as the last bachelor standing. At 34, regardless of his run of bad luck in matters of the heart, Brian still holds out hope that one day he'll open the door and be blinded by love. However questions about his fate have been popping up more frequently in his head. The most pressing question is – and it's one that only he can answer -- could all of his problems stem from the fact that he is harboring a crush on the picture-perfect Marjorie, his best friend's girl?

Granted it is a male and his name is Brian...but come on!! Okay...so maybe not my life entirely, because of my "paired-off" friends...I'm not harboring any crushes on my best friends' guys (because they are my brothers-in-law...and while I love them...I don't love them like that). Okay...so maybe it is not exactly my life...but close? right? hmmm...just a thought.

I'm still waiting on interviews...applications are out and I've made the calls that I can...I'm really in limbo and I almost want to start a group for us limbo folks to come together and discuss our limboness...although when one of us finally is out of limbo then the rest of us will just be bitter and reject the non-limbo person. I don't think my purpose in life is to breed bitterness, so I'll just keep it to myself.

The only thing that is helping me through all of this is a litany that a friend of mine was talking about a few weeks ago. I'll post it here in case any of you need a little prayer to kick you in the butt. It was written by Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val (1865-1930) who was the Secretary of State for Pope Saint Pius X.

Litany of Humilty

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Amen.

~mitzi

one a penny, two a penny, oh wait...

So now even food can be offensive:

http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=48700

Better get rid of pretzels, beer, wine, fish...because they all have religious connotations...

Funny thing...I used to make hot cross buns for my scholarship hall...opps!

~mitzi

no maryland for me...

Well, maybe it was the name or maybe it was the fact that I couldn't start until June...but I wasn't hired by the Maryland folks. I had to chuckle because they told me that I had some really great "skills" and I flashed to Napolean Dynamite.

"You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills...girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."

And I have to share this picture.

Anyhow, I guess there is something better out there for me as far as a job is concerned...I just wish I could find it!

~mitzi

name game...

So my first name is "Mitzi". Well, no it isn't. "Mitzi" is a nickname for my legal middle name. Everyone calls me "Mitzi". However, for legal purposes and also for applying for jobs I use my legal name which causes some confusion.

For example, today I called the folks in Maryland that I interviewed with a week ago to see if I was a candidate for a second interview. As the phone is ringing and the voicemail picks up...I keep tell myself..."legal name, legal name...not Mitzi"...but as soon as the beep sounds I say "Hello, this is Mitzi..." Shoot! They only know me by my legal name!! So I quickly recovered w/my legal name and apologized for using my nickname.

Well, I guess if I don't get this job over the whole name game then I didn't want it in the first place.

A word of caution to my siblings who are expecting : don't name your children two different names...please...for my future nieces and nephews sakes

~mitzi

1000 lire...

I'm not the biggest fan of my professor for my interest group politics class. He and his family use to go to St. Lawrence...and so he knows my stance on several issues and my faith. However, his family left St. Lawrence a few years back. I don't where they went, but obviously my professor has some issues with the Catholic Church. Oh well, this is his problem...not mine. But the thing that gets me is that he will always make some comment that is not that offensive about St. Lawrence and how things are run financially there and then looks straight at me as if this is how he going to get me to come over to "his" side. Nice try, buck-o!

Anyhow, this class involves several hours of reading...which I usually don't do. 50% because I don't want to and 50% because I have little respect for this professor. However, we have 10 point quizzes every other week or so. I haven't been doing spectacular on them usually an 7, 8, or 9...but I always just say...screw you, teacher. Believe me, I know it is my fault...but frankly I just don't care anymore. What's even better is when my professor is handing back the quizzes, he'll give a special reward to the top quizzes that were more than just the 10 points. One would think it would be extra credit...but for the past three quizzes it has been $1 gallon jugs of windsheild washer fluid.

Now to a regular person this might not sound like much...but to someone who uses her quarters for laundry and not to clean her car (aka me)...this is pretty nice. But still not caring for this teacher, I don't care whether I get the washer fluid or not. Or but do I now.

For some reason, I managed to fall into the category of "better than 10 points" on my last quiz. So I'm pretty excited because I'm going to get the washer fluid...but no. My arrogant professor brings out a 1000 lire note to give me. No washer fluid...just foriegn money that I'll never be able to use. Sweet. At least, I got 10 points on my quiz.

33 days until Stop Day!!

~mitzi

snow break...

And if Kansas weather couldn't do anything more this spring besides the "micro-burst" last week...today we have snow. Sweet. My spring break is awesome. Please note the large amount of sarcasm.

Yesterday, I was interviewed over the phone for a position in Maryland. It actually sound pretty cool and something that I could definitely do. Except they tell me at the end of the interview that really want the position filled right away...so that kind of puts me at the bottom of the pile since I'm not free until June 1st or so because of graduation and helping my brother fix-up his new house. Anyhow, we'll see and I'll keep everyone updated.

They did ask me this question which got me to thinking: "What motivates you?"

~mitzi

rhetoric of sports

Now granted, I knew that what I was getting into when I enrolled in COMS 560 "Rhetoric of Sports"...but then again...maybe I didn't. This class is basically 3 hours that I needed to have in order to keep my scholarships for my last semester here at KU that require me to be a "full-time student" at 12 hours.

Anyhow, the class is fairly easy. One paper so far and no mid-term or final scheduled...yet. Basically the class if for my instructor to be able to spout off anything he thinks about sports in general. Sometimes our classes are intellectual in discussion and sometimes it is a "what team is better", "what coach is better", "what player is better", "whoa did you see that play last night",. "Texas sucks", "Missouri sucks"...etc.

So with the NCAA Tournament coming up on Thursday...plus Spring Break...my teacher announces that he will be embarking on an (and I quote) "ethnographic field study on the rhetoric of sports bars...so I was thinking Henry T's. What do you all think?"

Yep, then we had a vote as to which bar we would go to for class...

Sometimes college just makes me smile...

~mitzi

jefferson's...

The local restaurant, Jefferson's, advertises "peace, love, and hot wings" and while I didn't order hot wings yesterday evening for dinner...I also did not get the peace and love that one should expect in this particular establishment.

The situation:

Myself and two of my friends were wanting a good cheeseburger and decided to head to Jefferson's for their $4.50 burger basket specials on KU game days...first mistake. Apparantely "game day" means only "game time"...fine. Mistake dos: Apparantely Jefferson's gets its food shipment on Mondays...so by Sunday evening they are out of burgers leading our server to say: "Yeah, we're out of burgers". Mistake 3: staying at Jefferson's even though they were out of burgers.

The problem:

So after my friends and I had reorder other meals to supposedly take the place of our non-existent burgers we begin to see tables around out ordering and actually recieving burgers. The couple right by us had come in after us and had recieved their burgers before we recieved our "no-burger" meals...so being nice folk, we thought, 'hey, maybe they're garden burgers?'...so we asked...nope, not a garden burger...just a regular, good old Jefferson's burger in a basket o' fries. Funny.

The resolution:

Apparantely Jefferson's doesn't like the burger-loving table of me and my friends...and therefore we do not like Jefferson's either.

Go 'hawks!!

~mitzi

sitting, waiting, wishing...

Yes, it is the title of a Jack Johnson song...but I'm using it anyway. I don't know, I guess it is just my mood right now...sitting, waiting, and wishing I knew what the heck my next "step" is suppose to be. I feel pretty jaded about life right now and that I'm just chillin' since I have no clue where I'm going. I sent out numerous applications/résumés/ cover letters and I still hear nothing back...except to just wait---"we'll contact you". Riiight. My roommate just found out that she's head to ISU for graduate school. I'm so excited for her. Another friend is headed to Houston w/ Teach for America...also very cool. And right now, I'm looking at getting a paper route again.

Okay maybe not a paper route...but looking at it? It doesn't seem that bad really.

"Why must I always be waiting on YOU!"...yeah, that's a religious YOU (aka big guy).

Don't worry, I stay right where I'm at until YOU push me where I'm suppose to go...or at least open the door.

~mitzi

whoa there...

So yesterday I was looking at my planner and realized that Spring Break is merely 10 class days away...and translating that to me: 6 class days! Whoa there...where did the semester go...and on that note where did February go? Hmmm...I guess I had better get on this job search or else.

As I'm struggling w/ life in general, there are always those things that make you smile throughout the day...Yesterday, the new director and chaplain at St. Lawrence, Fr. Steve, said Mass and 1) I'm so glad we have "director" again...it just makes things seems a little settled...2) Fr. Steve's homilies are very real in that they concise so that us laymen can figure out God's great plan for us. For example, yesterday's homily was a story about one of Fr. Steve's fellow priest friends who gave a presentation to Mother Teresa and her Missionaries of Charity. The priest had told the sisters that they "were like Jesus" in their service to the poor. Apparently, Mother Teresa took the priest aside after the presentation and told him that he was completely wrong---the sisters were not acting like Jesus, but were serving Jesus...the "poor" were "Jesus".

For some reason it just struck me. I've always known to see Jesus in others, but yesterday's homily just help me think about it more. I think so often we get completely focused on acting like Jesus ourselves, that we forget to treat others as if they were Jesus. Hmmm...does this make sense...probably not. Christian living is so complicated...especially at college when we are surrounded by distractions of every kind...including job searching. We must continue to trust in HIM to help us through. In serving others, we serve HIM. But believe me, I struggle w/ this just as much as the next guy. Just food for thought.

Another thing...Fr. Steve is pretty sarcastic. It is so great to be able to joke w/ him. 'Course, he'll probably end up being my Confessor...so I had better watch my tongue!

~mitzi

fourth day...

Well, I'm back from the retreat...and I still haven't quite figured out why God decided to have me go on SLK3...There were so many wonderful moments and so many beautiful people sharing their lives and their faith with me and the rest of the participants. So many people were praying for me during this retreat, but I still could not find the peace that I was looking for...yep, still searching.

The more I look at this past weekend. It was truly a mortification for me. To be completely reliant on others...and to trust whatever God had in store for the weekend. I have a lot of confusion in my heart...that was hit with a bit of pain this weekend. And for some reason HE had me go through it...and will prepare me for that "something better" in answering my prayers.

One thing for sure is: Somebody up there loves me...and loves you too. And basically that's all we need to know.

~mitzi

lent: day 2...

It is so weird how excited I get about Lent. It is basically like the Catholic New Year...we make resolutions to make ourselves better people of God and ultimately...we are to carry out our resolutions through the rest of our lives and not just the six weeks of Lent. Sometimes it happens and sometime we fail and have to start over again. Either way, we are continuing to grow...I'm continuing to grow.

Although, I'm a little nervous about this coming weekend. It's Koinonia and I'm trying not to go into the retreat w/ too many expectations. I am really trying to seek clarity in my life and to discern where exactly I'm suppose to be going in these next few months. I guess I'm hoping that this retreat will help me refocused and ultimately find an answer...However, the closer the retreat comes the more I realize that it will most likely be something completely different than what I expect. So I'm trying to stay open about the whole experience and trust that HE will bring me peace..."My peace I give to you"...

So while I'm still confused...life does has those little joys...beautiful weather. Who could have asked for a more glorious day yesterday for Ash Wednesday? 77 degrees...wow.

~mitzi

film quote time...

After spending yesterday and evening w/ the family...I started thinking about the film "The Family Stone". For those of you have not seen it...it definitely has many more storylines than just the "new person" entering into the family. However the main idea surrounds the whole idea of family...the "new person" (Sarah Jessica Parker's character) asks the matriarch (played by Diane Keaton),

"What's so great about you guys?"

And the response,

"Uh nothing...it's just that we're all that we've got."

I guess I just realized indeed, family is what keeps you sane. They are the ones who have known you the longest, have been there for everything whether it was the most embarassing moment or your happiest. They are always there to share good news with and cry through bad news.

I know that not everyone is blessed with wonderful biological/married into families...but sometimes a family is those few people who really make a difference in your life. For me, I'm lucky that I have truly wonderful family, that supports me even when I have no idea where I'm headed and buys me awesome karaoke CDs when my life is completely sucking.

~mitzi

out of gas...

It's funny how things in life will mimic your feelings inside. Actually, it is probably not that funny and more or less "duh! Mitzi, of course they mimic your feelings inside". Anyhow, yesterday I after taking my chances with the low-gas-light in my car...I ran out of gas. Thankfully, my gracious parents have me on their motor club card and therefore, I was able to get assistance within 40 minutes. The funny thing is that I was headed to the gas station and then to Adoration for a little Jesus time before settling in to watch the women's figure skating finals. But, I ran out of gas and so did my Jesus time while waiting for Hillcrest Wrecker to come to my rescue with a gallon of gasoline. I don't know if any of you checked out yesterday's meditation from In Conversation w/ God...but let me tell you...it certainly kicked my butt. The entire thing was how no matter what: Heaven is our goal. Therefore, whatever obstacles that are in our way of that goal...need to be pushed aside. And whatever paths lead us closer to that goal...need to be taken. Of course this means sacrifice...so I guess this is my new discernment. What do I sacrifice to bring me closer to Heaven?

Right now, I feel like I'm out of gas...and I definitely need to filled-up. I feel like I'm just watching things go by as if I'm out on some road just waiting for someone to stop and help me out...but maybe I just need to start walking.

I'm going on a retreat next weekend, but I'm a little nervous about it. It is with St. Lawrence and I've been a part of it the past two times that it has happened because it is geared towards the younger folks who are not as involved in order to welcome them into the community or Koinonia. But the team wants me to go as a participant. I know there's a reason why I'm going and retreats are always good for the soul. I guess I'm just afraid about what might happen...what will God speak to me?...and will I understand?...will I be able to follow through and do what HE asks of me?...because frankly, I'm not understanding right now...I'm out of gas. I know I shouldn't worry because ultimately...HE wants us all to happy...and all we have to do for that is to trust HIM. A friend of mine told me something along these lines...to worry not and to fear not because tomorrow brings enough worries and fears...I apologize for misquoting...but it certainly struck me.

On a positive note...the weather outside is simply beautiful. that's right...the flip-flops are coming out!!

~mitzi

confusion...

So in my last "blog" I alluded to the jumbled mess that is my life as of right now. And I'm thinking that if I have to write it down and chance that others might see it...perhaps, it will help. Maybe it'll hurt...but right now, I'll just go with it and we'll see what comes from it.

I guess the best way to describe my life right now is a standing-retreat. Let me break this down. For the past year, I have had focus. Not so much in the school/life sense, but in planning the March for Life and the Veritas Convention. And now, I realize how much those two things were attachments for me. I centered my life around those things because they brought me the sense of being needed. I used them as excuses for not doing other things---because frankly, I didn' t have time, but maybe I did. Granted, good things came out of both of these events...especially during the March. I was probably under the most stress that I had ever been...yet, I was genuinely at peace because of the people that were right beside me. I know that it was HIM that guided me through it all...for if HE brings you to it, HE will bring you through it. But it has now been a month and I'm so far away from peace---hence the standing-retreat.

Here's my attempt to explain this position: Right now I feel like I'm standing in front of a door. The door is open, but not quite enough to let me in...so I keep turning around. But then the door will begin to open more...only to swing back just as I'm putting my foot in it as if to say....(imagine Hugh Grant's character in Love Actually) "ooo, do we really want to do that?". Does this make sense? Probably not.

Anyhow, I guess I just would like to know (and yes, this is directed to the Big Guy upstairs) is when I'm suppose to start pushing on the door. What's the line? Pray as if it all depended on God, Act as if it all depended on you. I know God didn't make me someone who just sits back and lets everyone else do the work...but HE has also always given the opportunities (or an open doors) to act upon.

Basically, I'm just confused and would like an answer. Either slam the door in my face and I'll deal with it or give me the opportunity to walk through the door and I'll deal with whateve comes with that. I feel like I'm ready...but that is probably just my pride speaking.

On the other side of things, I have officially started my job search! It is actually quite interesting seeing the "real world". I went to this 'career workshop' last weekend to find out about the career of a financial advisor. Going in, I thought, "hey, this could be good"...but after leaving...I just felt sleazy. Do I really want to pursue a career that helps people who already have lots of money, get more money? ummm. Nope, I don't. So that's a no-go as far as the job search is concerned. However, I need to find a job that at least pays the bills. I can see myself working for a non-profit organization...but let's face it, that won't pay the rent.

I guess this is yet another doorway that I'm in front of. I went to a talk about balancing your apostolate with your vocation...but obviously, it isn't working for me. I feel like I need to get one taken care of before making decisions on the other one. In other words, I know that I'm suppose to be a wife and mother...and I feel that I'm ready to at least start making strides in this direction---yet, the door is swinging. And then there's my apostolate...is it in the LIFE movement because I feel like I've done a bunch w/ it in the past year...or is it something else, some other passion that I have yet to find...and when the heck is that suppose to come?---yet, another swinging door.

Oh, here's a profound thought: maybe they are both the same door! Oh, wouldn't that make life interesting...or confusing.

All right, I'm sorry for the long post...but that's all I've got for today.

~mitzi

this morning's happenings...

#1
I woke up to a surprise: SNOW! The first words I said after waking up: "No way."...Well, "WAY!" It is snowing here in where I live and I simply cannot believe it. This is indeed Kansas weather. A few days ago I was walking around in merely a hooded sweatshirt and jeans...and now I'm bundled up with a scarf, winter coat, and thick gloves. The funnies thing is that last night I turn the heat in my room down and opened the window because the thermostat in the building where I live is completely insane. Way too hot in the winter and way too cool in the summer. Oh well, I really should not complain.

#2
This quick change in the weather has once again reminded me of the metal in my leg. Almost three and half years ago, I broke my leg, had surgery, and was on crutches for eight weeks. As a souvenir from this delightful experience...I have a metal plate and 5 screws in my lower right leg along my tibia bone. I often forget about the whole thing...until the weather quickly changes and the metal in my leg either swells or contracts...good times

#3
In my room, I have candle wax "burner"...which basically just melts the wax of a candle with lighting it. So you get the aroma without the flame. In my attempt to clean up my area of the room...I knock over the "burner" allowing the melted wax to cascade down onto my loveseat. Now, the color of my loveseat is a burnt orange (attractive...I know) and the candle was "apricot" scent so...it basically matches. I am currently debating whether to leave the wax on or off. Ha. That just brought memories of the Karate Kid..."wax on, wax off"...hmmm.

#4
I went to Mass this morning. Always a good thing for the soul. My mind and heart are really jumbled right now...so I'm trying to somehow search for and maintain peace (and yes, I am reading the book "Searching for and Maintaining Peace" for the third time).

#5
For some reason, my hall purchase rice cakes...I remember having these as a treat when I was really young. Before I was in school, I would accompany my mom as she took my siblings to school. Then we would go to the local Dillions and pick up breakfast...and if I was lucky we would get rice cakes. It was our "little secret" from my siblings...but I guess they probably know now. Ha! Suckers! Anyhow, I enjoyed a chocolate rice cake this morning...and while it doesn't have really any taste and borders on cardboard...there is something about going back to childhood foods.

jack johnson

A friend of mine put together a 3-4 minute flim-clip that had the images of probably over 100 results of abortions. It was truly powerful, even though I had seen the images before in numerous pamphlets regarding the TRUTH about abortion. The thing about this particular presentation was the lyrics in the music accompanying the images. It was Jack Johnson's "Cookie Jar". I have to say that Jack Johnson is definitely one of my favorite musical artists because of his smooth melodies and profound lyrics. One stanza of his poetry from "Cookie Jar":

"It was you, it was me, it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell then hell's what we'll have"

I guess it just made sense with the pro-LIFE movement that has surrounded my life for the past years (in particular the past few weeks). While I don't know where I'm going with my life (career fair is tomorrow! fingers crossed!)...I know I have to keep fighting this inhumanity....because truly: "we only recieve what we demand"...of course all in HIS time.

mr. sloan...

One of my high school teachers died last week. He was only 55 and I only had him for one class...but he was definitely a character and I always wondered why he chose teaching as his profession. I had him first semester senior year for first hour 20th century literature. I remember getting an A+ on my term paper for that class, even though I didn't read any of the books that I discussed in the paper...go figure. Anyhow, every Friday just before our morning class would be dismissed by the bell, Mr. Sloan would give us a tiny bit of wisdom...and each week he would do this, constantly adding on to the weeks of advice prior to that particular Friday. In the end, here's the whole deal:

"Remember, if you drive, don't drink;
and if you drink, don't drive;
if you chug, don't choke;
if you smoke, don't toke;
if you toke, don't inhale (thank you, former President Clinton!);
if you snort, don't sneeze;
if you mainline don't miss;
if you free base, don't burn;
if you do acid, stay placid;
if you cruise don't crash;
if you park, don't pet;
if you kiss, don't tell;
if you French, don't bite;
if you peck, don't hickey;
if you flirt, don't tease;
if you tease don't laugh;
and if you truly love, do not exchange bodily fluids!"
- Art Sloan