packing...

I'm headed to Chicago/Evanston in two days...48 hours from now, I should be in Iowa driving along w/ my mom in a Penske truck behind me...I can't believe it.

Last Friday, my friends gave me a surprise send-off---complete w/ the traditional St. Lawrence skit. It wasn't exactly a surprise because my mom is not as sneaky...but it was pretty great and I'm so blessed to have such wonderful friends. Since then, I've been doing some examining of my past years here in Kansas...well, mainly this past year. I'm not really sleeping anymore at night because of anxiety and nervousness...so I generally just start to think about my existence.


I know I'm suppose to go to Chicago. I read through my prayer journal last night and from reading the entries that a wrote during finals week two months ago...I know that I made the right decision. I just wish I could let go and let whatever is suppose to happen to me in Chicago happen (my mom is convinced now that I'll be on the El when it catches fire again). Maybe this examination is coming from the fact that I'm going to be alone. I'm not moving there with anybody...I'll have to make new friends. And as silly as that sounds...it is so hard...especially when I have friends already...maybe that sounds bad.

I guess I'm just ready for something new, I need to be tested (as Liesel said). Chicago is my test. Hopefully, I'll survive somehow...and maybe find a couple of study-buddies along the way. All I know is that the people that I'm leaving have mean so much to me that I don't even know how to thank them. I've tried to with some, but I know it still not enough.

Back to packing...

~mitzi

P.S. in other news...what the heck is up w/ the Tour?? Would somebody please show some guts and make a move?? At least we're finally in the mountains now. But what was w/ that time trial last Saturday?...ugh.